My body is a temple.

If temples have a constant flux of caffeine, prescribed drugs, alcohol and various other substances going through them.

I know nutrition, I know fitness. So why don’t I follow the guidelines I know would be best for me?
Because I’m lazy, I like to drink and I haven’t been able to actually buy groceries in over a month… just a few things here and there when I’m out of milk, oatmeal or some such good. At least when buying my own food I can control how much processed food is (or isn’t) passing my mouth and I stick to whole foods and usually the organic stuff.

But I don’t understand why I cannot get off my butt and go out and do something. It’s not just working out that is my problem; if I have an errand to run or a phone call to make it will simply remain on my ‘to do’ list that I end up losing. Even notes I leave in my computer eventually go unnoticed and remind me of my failures.

I’m making an earnest attempt to be accountable for everything I have to do in my life, but there’s a pattern of me starting strong and losing steam.

Maybe I’ve been in such a funk since I moved back from Colorado because I’ve been neglecting taking my medication, although the previous times I crapped out I was still taking my pills.

I grew as a person during my time living out of state. I am much more independent than I was and I have a better picture of who I am as a person, which feels great.

But, I’ve been passive and unfocused. I feel like there is so much I need to do and yet I can’t pin whatever that is down. This school year I am re-taking a class and failure is not an option. Although I say that every year.

I just hope this doesn’t all come back to swiftly kick me kneecaps and turn my world upside down by some major event. I’d like to be able to handle myself when that time comes.

Cheers.